Jill Day did not go as planned for me this month. Being a Wednesday, and a work day, I wasn’t sure what to do that could honour Jill’s memory or celebrate her. A week earlier, I thought I could time my 3rd plasma donation on this day, but when I went to book an appointment, they had none left. Still at a loss as to what I could do, yesterday, late afternoon (the 18th), I checked the Lifeblood app again, on the off chance an appointment had become available, and there happened to be one at 8am. Taking it as a sign and feeling quite confident that I had hydrated enough, I booked the appointment. Then this morning, I woke up, hydrated some more and set off to my appointment. I had the needle in my arm all ready to donate, but as it turns out, I had not hydrated enough and so I could not donate. I immediately felt disappointed in myself and burst into tears. I was an embarrassing mess to say the least. My only saving grace is that I had told the lovely nurse beforehand, that I had booked in particularly for the 19th as it had special significance and I wanted to honour my friend. So at least she had some context as to why I was upset, not that this made me any less embarrassed. The nurse was so lovely and gave me a big hug before I left. The rest of the day I felt pretty emotional. I know it’s silly to get upset about it, and had it been any other day I would of been fine, but today it broke me a little. I’m sure my overreaction was a build up of the last 5mths, and I know Jill would think I was being silly too. I guess some days it’s harder to stay strong and that’s ok too.
There were only three things that uplifted my spirits a little today. The first was being able to speak to Bron for a check in. It’s so important to me to stay connected to Jill’s family, so I always appreciate Jill’s Mum taking my calls. If Bron or any of the family happen to read this post, please know, I think you are all amazing and so strong and I hope you all continue to heal together as best you can. The second thing that lifted my spirit was getting notified today that my clay creations (that my Mum & I did a few weeks back as part of the 101 Adventures for Jill list) were ready to be picked up. I’ll post about just how ugly our creations were in a seperate post. And the last thing that lifted my spirit was another Jill memory popped up on Facebook today of our awesome girls trip to Airlie 8 years ago.
5mths today buddy and still not a day where you haven’t been the first thing on my mind. Always missed but always remembered.
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